Peer Pressure

On the last day of writing final papers of my teenagers high school exams, temptations came calling! She went partying with friends!!

Peer Pressure on a teenager can be either positive or negative.

The positive pressure should be encouraged while the negative pressure must be discouraged and totally prevented.

The positive pressure occurs when your teenager is attracted to the right set of crowd. This means, the teenagers group of friends are those that have focus and are right thinking.
How do you get these set of youngsters? Chemistry say's 'like mind attract'. Encourage your teenager to attend church or religious group meetings that encourage focus and ensures that he/she is always with a positively minded group.

Do not discourage his/her friends from visiting!
Knowing the type of friends your teenager associates with helps you to understand the kind of pressure he/she may be subjected to.

This last term of high school has been the most challenging. The sense of belonging that can be obtained from joining friends to participate in such things as Sexual escapades, Illegal Partying, Drugs and Alcholol imbibing, Carrying Firearms and Knives, Wearing Fashionable (sometimes exposing and hip styled) Dresses. The list of bad habits can be endless!

I have been forced as a result of these various types of pressures to discuss issues I would ordinarily consider 'not for teenage ears!' This ensures that I can pass a positive opinion and in a conducive atmosphere ensure that the opinion is well received and will help my teenager to withstand unnecessary pressure.

Metting out punishment can sometimes help to bring your teenager back to track, but most of the time puts their back up!! My teenager tells me 'you should be able to know what I can do! how long will it take you to understand me? As if I don't!! She believes I must take sides with her even when I know she's only partially right and never criticize. Hmm.

Most of the time I shout right back, that, with experience, she will get to know that parents are most likely always right!
Realistically, when I calm down, I relate experiences of other's who have fallen victim of similar circumstances and their results (sometimes unpleasant or fatal). This has helped to bring my teenager back to line. I especially use examples that are close to home.

Punishments like stopping allowances and grounding the teenager may help in specific cases but should not be overused as this can create other problems. It can cause boredom and encourage your teenage to pilfer or device alternative ways of funding!! For teenage girls, getting alternative funding can lead to a host of other problems; dating older men, prostitution, stealing.

Alternative help can be obtained from influential people around the teenager. In this instance, they could be favorite uncles and aunties whose opinion have always been important to your teenager. They could even be parents of their friends with whom you have been associating and have similar parenting values and opinions.

Let me know how you've been handling peer pressure in your teenager's life!! We must stick together and make the world a better place through our wonderful teens!!

sexuality and puberty

My teenager was making calls in the midnight with a 'stranger' who just happened to crash her mobile no. My first reaction was to seize the phone and call the stranger (boy) back, barring him from further calls!! Have you noticed that what is prohibited is more attractive and flavored than what is allowed?

Sexuality

Coming to terms with your teen's developing sexuality can be difficult, but they need your support and advice to help them grow and establish relationships in a mature and safe way.

Puberty

Puberty, however, is the point when the body begins to change from that of a child into an adult. It comprises lots of changes which take place over quite a long period, usually several years.

During this period your child's body develops the characteristics of a sexually mature adult. The sexual organs develop, there are changes in the hormone balance and in other features of the body relating to sexuality.

Boys and girls

Girls reach puberty approximately six months to a year earlier than boys.
But you must note that each individual child is different. Some children are what you can call late bloomers.

Each gender has to cope with different experiences. Girls have to come to terms with menstruation and growing breasts, while boys have to cope with wet dreams and emerging beards.

You must be ready to provide necessary information as well as the opportunity to talk about any anxieties they might have. Avoid joking about the changes they're going through, it may not be appreciated by your sensitive teen and you may end up blocking avenues of further discussions between the two of you.

Sexual relationships

It is controversial whether to take a liberal view on allowing your teen to associate freely with the opposite sex or to limit such freedom to prevent unnecessary and tempting contacts with them. This decision, I believe should depend on the background you have laid in the life of your teen. If the child is God fearing, such limits may not be necessary. Advocates of freedom of movement believe that this view shows your teen that you respect them as individuals and trust them to take the right decisions concerning their future.

There are many ways you can provide help and support in relation to sex.

* Make sure you know what sex education your teen is getting at school and from whom. The biology class on human anatomy will just tickle the imagination and encourage experimentation. However, it is more dangerous if your teen takes lessons from more sexually adventurous classmates!
* Provide your child with information and advice on the subjects not covered in these lessons
* Be open minded about issues of contraception. Offer to go with them to the doctor or sexual health clinic if necessary
* Make sure they know about STIs and how to stay safe
* Support them as they deal with the emotions of a first intimate relationship
* Try to accept your teenager will probably not have the same values as you when it comes to sex, but that such differences are an inevitable part of your child growing up into a healthy adult

For our sake I hope the recent figures I read which shows that 25 per cent of young women and 30 per cent of young men under the age of 16 have had sex are right. These figures are lower than many people imagine, and mean that three out of every four young women and two out of every three young men haven't had sex by the age of 16.

If more adolescents knew this, they'd probably feel less pressured into starting sexual relationships during the early teenage years.